


A Man of Honor

by mmmdraco



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-16
Updated: 2012-07-16
Packaged: 2017-11-10 02:44:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/461377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mmmdraco/pseuds/mmmdraco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A tongue-in-cheek look at Snape's honor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Man of Honor

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The characters in this story are mine only in spirit and voice. Their "likenesses", names, categorizing features, favourite activities (other than the randiness I like to make them engage in), studies, teachers, friends, acquaintances, etc., etc., belong to J.K. Rowling and not me.

Severus Snape was a man of honor--reformed, though he was, from his true Death Eater days. Spying didn't count, or so Snape told himself on a daily basis. Dumbledore was fond of telling Snape this, himself, though it wasn't nearly everyday as neither Dumbledore nor Snape had the time, in their conversations, to speak of such trivialities. But, Snape was honorable.

It was this honor which kept him from immediately taking the the name of every god he knew of in vain, regardless of whether he believed in their existence or not, when Harry Potter approached him after Potions one day to ask, "Professor Snape, will you be my boyfriend?"

The question was innocent enough, he supposed, but the sheer ludicrousness of the proposal was nearly maddening. "I beg your pardon, Potter, but did you just ask if I would be your... boyfriend?"

Harry merely nodded. "Yes. My boyfriend. I want to sleep with you, so I thought it best if we do it so it's a bit honorable and we're at least *seeing* each other for a bit first."

Snape was an honorable man, so he refrained from saying yes right away as he was constantly aroused for some reason that he didn't know of and that might cloud his vision a bit. Though, he wouldn't put it past Dumbledore to lace the pumpkin juice with Spanish Fly. Instead, Snape said, "And why would you like to sleep with me, Potter?"

Harry held up one hand and began to count off the reasons. "Well, let's see--one, you're devilishly hot. Two, I figure if I do it, it'll either get out of my mind or I'll be getting some on a regular basis which is always good, I'd imagine. Three, I've decided not to date girls. And, four, I have a thing for big noses and you've got the biggest honker I've ever seen. It makes me quite randy. Do you need more reasons? Can we shag now?"

"No, Mister Potter. No shagging quite yet. Tell me why you've decided not to date girls."

Harry made a face. "They're cute enough, and I'd like to go after a few of them, but as it is, they either just like me because I'm famous, or they don't like me enough to even give it a try, or my best friend is in love with them."

"Mister Potter, you would let Mister Weasley have that many girls to himself?"

Aghast, Harry quickly responded. "No! Only Hermione falls in that category. And, Cho's got to fit in their somewhere, but I don't think she could even accept some of the things I've done in my past, like killed one of her boyfriends. But, hey! That's probably something we have in common! Is it time to shag?"

Snape looked around for a jar that he knew was somewhere on one of the shelves. Harry followed him as he walked around the perimeter of the room. "No. Not yet. Why don't you get yourself a nice muggle girl, then?"

Harry flushed prettily. "Well, you see, a muggle could never really *know* what being a wizard was like, and besides that, if I get, well, excited, in a muggle home, the lights flicker! It would be terribly embarrassing."

Nodding, Snape continued to look for the jar. "And none of the boys here at Hogwarts have caught your eye?" The jar jumped into view and Snape grabbed it before it could get away from his sight again.

"No, sir. All of the ones who might swing my way, well, they're just nothing I'd want to sleep with, and they've all been with Seamus and Draco, anyway, sometimes at the same time, and I don't want to sleep with them because they say that if you sleep with someone, you're also sleeping with everyone else that person has slept with. So, I figure I'm safe with you since who knows where Crabbe and Goyle have been?"

In Snape's mind, all of the reasoning that Harry had put on the table suddenly made sense. "Okay, Harry. I'll be your boyfriend. You need someone honorable in your life, and that's me."

"So, can we shag now?"

"Maybe after dinner, honey. I've got an awful headache."

"But, sex is good to relieve pain!"

____________________________________________________________

As soon as the plates cleared in the Great Hall, Harry was out of his seat and running toward Snape's rooms after yelling a goodbye to the whole of Gryffindor. Snape was nearly as fast in getting to his rooms. The jar from earlier was conveniently stashed in his pocket for easy access.

Letting himself and Harry in, Snape quickly shut the door and locked it--both the wizard *and* muggle way. 

"Okay. Now we've been boyfriend and boyfriend for an honorable amount of time. We can shag now!" And Harry was already naked and spread on Professor Snape's bed.

Snape quickly removed his own robes and the few things he wore underneath, remembering to keep tight hold of the jar he had procured from the shelves of the potions room earlier on.

Crawling up onto the bed, Snape situated himself above Harry. "Are you sure about this?" Harry slid his hands onto Snape's shoulders and nodded, biting his bottom lip.

"Turn over." Snape's voice filled with the lust he had been trying to conceal with much failure.

Harry turned onto his stomach and raised himself up onto his knees beneath his Potions professor. Snape opened up the much-mentioned jar and sank a finger into the cool gel. He coated the finger up to the second knuckle, then placed the jar on the nightstand by the bed. 

Licking his parched lips as he looked back over his shoulder at Snape, Harry got up on his knees a bit, thighs spread apart. "Now, I've really only read about this in the books my cousin kept in his second bedroom, the one I got moved into from the cupboard under the stairs, but I think that so long as you're careful, this shouldn't hurt."

Snape nodded and sank the gel-coated finger into Harry's rear end. Harry tensed, "Well, that's interesting."

Working the finger in and around, Snape occasionally added another finger in to stretch his boyfriend out. After three fingers, Harry was grunting and writhing and becoming downright animalistic, thrusting back against his professor's lubed hand. "Oh, jolly fuck. Enough with the fingers, I'm about to come."

Hard like Shrinking Solution left on the fire for three days, Snape didn't even need *that* much coaching to lift Harry up a bit, position his cock at the opening of his student/boyfriend's ass and thrust in as though his life depended on it.

Harry squirmed for a good minute after the initial penetration, his body shivering and shaky at the overwhelming feelings rushing through his body, particularly in his pelvic region. Snape felt much the same way, particularly because Harry was clenching every muscle in his body and as a set of those muscles enveloped the largest body of evidence of Snape's arousal, Snape was understandably affected.

It took only a moment for Harry to lean back and say, "Wow. I feel so full. And everything's tingly. I'm glad I asked you to be my boyfriend, despite the fact that as this is my first time, this does hurt a bit."

Snape quickly pulled himself back and thrust back into Harry. "And I am glad to have become your boyfriend. Everything is tingly for me as well! Though, I am sorry this hurts you. Next time, I'll use a numbing agent in the lube so that you won't have any pain whatsoever."

Harry rocked with the force of Snape's thrust. "Oh, Professor! How honorable of you!" Apparently, Harry spoke in exclamations (or, rather, ejaculations) when engaged in sexual activity.

So ecstatic to hear Harry proclaim him to be as honorable as Snape thought himself, Snape began to piston his hips against Harry's behind, his testicles bouncing like bat eyes on a concrete floor as he propelled himself forward and back, yearning for Harry's pleasure, and his own.

Harry felt ripped open like a new box of chocolate frogs on a Hogsmeade weekend. A quick tear and then a whole lot of pleasure that spread around and melted in your mouth. Just, it was only he and his professor/boyfriend who were sharing the chocolate frogs. No, no. Harry was not a slut. That was Seamus and Draco. They went for Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Bean sensations... a risk in every mouthful, and as many bags as possible without getting the same flavour twice.

Snape noticed that Harry's fingers were deperately threaded with folds of the sheets, and his head was thrust back as he keened and wailed and generally enjoyed the process of being sexed up. "Professor! Oh, Professor... Can we do this every evening after dinner except when I have Quidditch practice?"

"Yes, Harry. We certainly may." And Snape buried his throbbing length in Harry Potter's backside once again.

Harry groaned and thrust himself back again. "Could you perhaps go faster or harder or something, Professor? I feel as though my balls are about to melt off, they're so hot to trot!"

Snape was only too eager to oblige. His thrusts increased in tempo like the good parts of "In the Hall of the Mountain King" and his hips collided with Harry's backside like a sound spanking or a crash dummy test, going so fast and hard that one might think he was trying to bury his entire self completely within Harry Potter, instead of just his entire erection.

More keening, wailing and other general noise echoed through the room. However, Harry suddenly paused, knees and arms locking in place as Snape continued to beat out a rhythm with their bodies, and came, his ejaculate pulsing from his cock in long, steady streams, soaking the sheets beneath him. His entrance clenched around the hard intruder that had pressed so well into his body, and a moment later, Harry felt the blazingly hot come of his Potions master coat his insides before Snape leaned against his back and forced him down into the wet spot of (technically) his own creation. "Ew!"

Very quickly, Snape turned over onto his own back so that Harry was no longer in said wet spot. "Oh, Professor! I think I could love you. You like me enough not to make me stay in the wet spot! Will you marry me once I get stretched out enough that you never really have to lube me up ever again which shouldn't take that long as you'll be shagging me nightly anyway and possibly during the day if you'll give me detention and make me serve it with you?"

"Yes, Harry. It is the only honorable thing to do." For, still, Severus Snape was a very honorable man, perhaps the most honorable man of all.

And, that's the moral of this story: only the most honorable of men gets to shag Harry Potter, particularly when he's got the biggest freakin' schnozz you (or Harry Potter) ever did see.


End file.
